Importance of Family Identity as a Human Right

 

A little boy is sitting in his room. His tears have dried up, leaving the skin on his cheeks feeling tight, his eyes dry and sore.
In his mind, there is no point in crying anymore, he sees no hope in sight.
Outside his window,  the lonely moon is rising, to a dark, cold sky.

Downstairs they are laughing, opening their Christmas presents. People think they are his family. But he doesn't even know half of them.
He feels a firm grip in his stomach, right in there where he used to feel happiness. He cannot remember the last time he laughed. He excused himself after dinner. He was not able to eat.

He knows his family are thinking about him, that his mother cannot sleep, without having nightmares, about the day armed police officers forced themselves into their  house, and along with ladies from the CPS,  handcuffed him, and forced him into the waiting car, where he threw up from sheer terror.

The boy used to demonstrate his anger by destroying the foster-parent's belongings.
When hearing neighbors and friends of the foster-family, praising their  kindness for taking this unfortunate boy, he feels nauseated and treated like an animal, as a puppy, and must concentrate not to vomit. He knows that what is said about his parents is a lie, and that the foster-parents are close friends of the CPS leader who made the decision to have him removed from his parents, and he knows that the judge who made his parents lose him legally, is sitting downstairs in the living room in the foster-home, enjoying a strong drink, along with the Major, who also has foster-children, from three different families. He also knows they get a lot of money for having foster-children.
Kids at school know, too. They are scared that one day, "they" will come, and take them, too.

The boy's once innocent mind, used to fantasize about killing the foster-parents, and running away to his mother and father, but after the months passed, his mind glided into a state of apathy, his little body feeling too tired to stand up.
The few hours a year he is allowed to see his parents under strict supervision, just shows him they have been exhausted and broken down. His mother looks old, her skin greyish and lifeless. The light in his father's eyes is gone, and his face is left expressionless. They are not allowed to hug, and his mother is not permitted to say she loves him. If she does, the visitation is called off, and he is forced to the cold of the foster-home, without even saying goodbye to his parents, knowing there will be many lonely and desperate months till he can see their faces again.

He tries to cover his ears with his hands from the penetrating sound of laughter downstairs. There is just one though left in his mind. He wants to die, to escape from the helplessness and all-consuming pain.



         

 

                               

 

 

 

 

Family holidays, as Christmas, are intimate times in a person's life, to make life-lasting memories, and to bond with one's family, with all the personal quirks and multi faceted group dynamics that exist within every single family unit.

These few days and hours of a year, we choose to fully participate in important family-rituals, small and large, that often have been passed on through generations. These rituals lay a foundation for the development of our personality and our very  identity as a person, and the participation in the family customs, makes us able to feel the safety of being accepted into a group.

Even though our customs and family rituals are adapted to cultural differences, every family have their own variations on cultural habits, specific to every family unit.

In cases where a child is removed from the family unit and family-culture, the child is also denied a healthy development of a personality and identity, and forced to take part in the rituals of strangers. This underlines a feeling of isolation.

Even families we call dysfunctional, have their rituals, that along a person's life-time, ensures the development of an identity and sense of belonging.

Cases of removal of babies and toddlers from their families and those of forced adoption, will also violate a child's right to an identity in an extreme way, and must as well be considered enforced disappearance.
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The Convention on the Rights of a Child, Article 8, stresses the importance of a child's right to an identity, a fact that a state party to the convention cannot ignore:

"Article 8
1. States Parties undertake to respect the right of the child to preserve his or her identity, including nationality, name and family relations as recognized by law without unlawful interference.
2. Where a child is illegally deprived of some or all of the elements of his or her identity, States Parties shall provide appropriate assistance and protection, with a view to re-establishing speedily his or her identity. "